As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
