Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
