Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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