I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
