100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
