So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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