the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
