we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
