I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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