She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
