where am i from again
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
