dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
