Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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