I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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