I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
