We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
