That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
