so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
