I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sobbing to NWA
I would fuck him just for his dog
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
