She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
