Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
