in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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