He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
