i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
