some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
