like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
