I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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