You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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