therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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