haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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