Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
