I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
