I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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