he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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