Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
