she woke up with a sticky ear
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
