dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
