I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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