I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
