Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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