Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
