evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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