Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
