Cold hands, warm shart.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
