3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i think i just lost a toe
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
