She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
