i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
