So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
