I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
