PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
