I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
