we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
